The Windmill

"they can kill you, but the legalities of eating you are quite a bit dicier." - dfw


i believe there are infinite universes sustained by a divine force of nature that is more fundamentally true than math and that is a thousand times more amazing than the judeo-christian god. i believe every seemingly free action is the determined result of our genetic makeup and external life experiences. and i believe in you.

i am a hedonistic bird of paradise locked in a two bedroom apartment.

there’s a funny thing about time.

we expect too much from it.  we punish ourselves for not living hard and fast enough and get disappointed with our own apathy when days turn to weeks and we’re still here.

it’s as if the minutes that make up that imaginary “before” have no worth.  a moment of stillness is a missed opportunity.  before we grow up, before we go to school, before we get a job, before we have kids.  time carries on, but what of wasted time? if we don’t “go” and “do” enough each second we are squandering our youth.

but filling ones time with endless distraction isn’t seizing life’s opportunities.

days turn into weeks and we’re still here.

but we’re still here… time hasn’t killed us yet.  and to me, that counts for something.

use your brown person instincts to tell me if the mangoes are ripe.

—my sister to her [Bengali] boyfriend

He has been living in terror; but now it gives way to smooth, dull shores of sadness. Terror is mobile, sadness is stagnant. Like water in a vase.

—dan franck